Seriously...when is this going to happen???

Alright, I'm officially 40 weeks pregnant. For the record, this is the longest I've ever been pregnant. I. am. miserable. exhausted. In pain. Anxious.

And yet, I keep asking myself....am I ready for this??? Three kids all under the age of 4?

Whoa.

We've settled into our new home. Randall is still adjusting to the loooong drive to work and I'm adjusting to the extra time without his help and realizing I depend on him sooooo much. Can I handle three kids for 12 hours a day without him?? hmm.

Some random thoughts I've pondered on lately:
Boy or girl??? (obviously)

Will we get ANY sleep?

How will the boys adjust?

Will they still get the love that they so much deserve? Not just need, but deserve?

Will I remember how to have a newborn? Because the last memory I have of bringing home a
baby, he was 4 months old, had a permanent IV(central line), a mic-key button, and 15 poopie diapers a day. Will I know what to do without all the "extras"?

Will I lose the baby weight? And I mean all 3 babies, not just this one! Cause let's face it. I'm not one of those cute preggos. Nope. Not even close. I get huge. Like really huge. Too huge to mention a weight. Is it worth it?? Of course, that's why I've done it 3 times :)

Will I still have the energy to be a good wife? Because my hubby is important too! I still want to have a warm meal on the table, a clean house, and good kids for him to come home to. But lets face it, I'm lucky if I shower before he gets home.

Will we ever have a date again? Let's be real, no one really wants to babysit 3 kids under the age of 4.

Can I be a good mom to 3?

Was that a contraction?

Will today be the day?

What day will she/he be born on?

What's taking so long?

Can I do this naturally?

Was that a contraction?

and so on, and so on, and so on...................

I just want to make sure ALL my kids get the best. That's what I'm here for, to guide them. Guide them and pray that they make the right decisions as they grow up. And gloat. But I've got that one down. Almost everything they do makes me a proud momma. Almost. Just the other night we were out to dinner (which, can I mention is a challenge with two parents and just two kids. I imagine will be impossible with the third.) and my boys bowed their heads and we said our prayer before our meal. My eyes filled with tears. Sooooo proud. Or the fantastic manners they have. Really. My kids are pretty polite. *gloat*

Anyways. My stream of consciousness is just all over the place right now. But ultimately, I'm just sitting here thinking "will the contractions start now? What about now? What about now?"

Anxiously awaiting our baby beetlebug......